She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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