i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
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His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
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It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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