This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
