Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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