we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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