Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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