In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
