the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
