omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
