I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize