I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
