goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
