And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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