You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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