Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
