took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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