Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
