she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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