I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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