No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
