Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
