If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
