I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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