so explain again why im purple
no
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
