hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
this just has baby written all over it
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
