EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
