is wine microwaveable?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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