John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
