guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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