Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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