totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
wow bdsm is so cute
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize