i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
