Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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