I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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