I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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