If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
