hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
