I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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