I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
