I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Randomize
