If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
