Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
