im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
