You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
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the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
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One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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