I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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