Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
