I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
