There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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