Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
