I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize