I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
