Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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