Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
