When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
