umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
