Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
