Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize