you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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