So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
