Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize