Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
why didn't you poke me back
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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