do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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