eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
