I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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