she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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