I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
