That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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