I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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